The Cocaine Diaries - 61

15 years ago I found myself in a hotel room, laying in a foetal position clutching a bottle of wine crying my eyes out.

You see I had checked in the night before because I had run out of alcohol and I knew I could carry on drinking if I checked into a hotel.

I was in a mess.

And I was sniffing at least one gram of cocaine every single day and had been for the past 5 years.

I had tried to kick this habit to the kerb so many times before, I'd delete my dealers' phone number, I would immerse myself into something else.

But something would always happen.

And I didn't have the coping skills to deal with it.

So I returned to numbing myself out.

And I used.

And I used.

And I used.

UNTIL that day 15 years ago where I found myself on the hotel floor.

Something inside me said 'enough, you can't keep going on like this'.

So I made a decision to quit.

And on the 1st July 2008 I stopped using cocaine.

Life has been full of challenges since that date but giving up the cocaine has given me the gift of getting to know and managing myself.

And there is NOTHING more important and valuable than

a) getting to know and loving the fuck out of who you are

b) cultivating the skills to manage yourself through life's ups and downs.

So, my fabulous friend, TODAY IS A FABULOUS DAY.

I'm proud of my journey, I'm proud of myself. Onwards and upwards.

Love Star ❤